Is it normal to be feeling so freaking angry??? I feel like breaking every single thing in my house right now. All I keep thinking about are all of the bad choices I made when I was younger, all of the REALLY bad choices, and how this must be my restitution payment for them. Like, HERE, Laura....here is how you're going to pay the universe back for being so stupid.
I hate feeling so out of control. And that's what I am. I am out of control.
It is completely normal to feel angry. It is also completely normal that you start blaming yourself when things don't go as planned. It's not how you handle yourself or express yourself during your trial as much as it is how you come out and what you learn from your trial. When you are in the midst of the worst of it all we all go to our dark places. Only time shows us what we were supposed to learn and ultimately why it happened. It's then we can look back without anger and without blaming ourselves. Right now take strength from those around you and remember to breathe everyday. It's all anyone can ask of you right now.
ReplyDelete"It's not how you handle yourself or express yourself during your trial as much as it is how you come out and what you learn from your trial"
ReplyDeleteI read that over and over. I really love how you put that, and am bound and determined to be the strong and courageous woman that everyone, except me ironically, seems to see: the one who learns from this and gets better from it.
This is a beautiful response, Kathy, and I appreciate it very much. The support from everyone has resonated through our small little condo, and it has changed us. Our nightly prayers together start with an outpouring of gratitude for every small thing we have, and it always surprises me how MUCH we have to be grateful for...Heavenly Father really loves all of us so much.